flew

somebody asked me,
what does it mean if you keep thinking about the same person?
like the moment you wake up, the moment before you sleep,
the moment you decide okay, im gonna text this person-
HELLO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

do you know?
well, i don't.
i really don't.
-

anyways,
was talking to invisible friend the other day.
and im beginning to like talking to him like that.
not on a constant basis. the occasional wtf bec moments.
i like updates like that. since all i need to know is that
you are doing okay, life's pretty much the same.
i don't really demand active participation in my life
and i dont see the need for me to.

thats what invisible friends are for right.
:)

-
and social awkwardness is just a realllly good excuse for you to live in your own world. and to some extent, i like to use that term for myself sometimes.

i'm kinda sleepy since its 0010, but i just felt like typing much. and its been in my head for the past few days. so i better gurgitate them out before my brain gets too crowded there. leaves little room for more imagination.

labels

i caught 500 days of summer (btw, i love the show to bits.) the other time and i could kinda understand why she didnt want a label for the relationship that she shared with a Tom . And i could totally see why she didnt want to put a label on things. And so i made a mental note to myself that, whenever or wherever possible, i'll not make put a label on anything i own. actually, i made that mental note a few years back, just that i didnt realised it. and more often than not, i make the mistake of claiming possession of things that i actually do not own. or rather, i do own, but i refuse to claim ownership of them.

simply put, i just want to be irresponsible. and live life careless and reckless.
nobody lays claim on me, i answer to no one, i live my life, you live yours. if your's screws up, it's okay. you still have got me to hold your world up.thats when you play by my rules, since your's screwed and mine didnt. HA. simple.

you see, when you put a label on someone,
you say, hey. thats my bestie.
well, you feel assured because you know there's
somebody to fix the world for you. you claim possession of somebody
so you feel needed. i mean thats normal.

on the other hand, the bestie is unwittingly entrusted with a whole set of responsibilities of living up to the word, bestie.

say, okay, i need a girlfriend.
well, THE GIRLFRIEND is needed for?
so THE GIRLFRIEND loads up on another set of responsibilities to live
up being somebody's girlfriend.

say, im the elder sister.
you see the implication between being a elder sis or a younger sister?

why cant we live our lives with just our names for identification?
better still, each of us just have some numerical code for identity.
like there's no status, no whatsoever association to whatsoever.
will that make our lives easier?

the lack of responsibilities,
will it make us devoid of emotions?

i find it quite scary now that i take a step back and think about it.
the problem does not lies putting a label on for somebody.
the issue is when the person with the label does not live up to it.
so what happens huh.
once tagged, you freeze. the world stops moving.
is it?
seriously?

thats why i find it quite scary to label or to be labelled.
i dont want to disappoint, neither do i want to be disappointed.
why should i put myself through this anyways.

that's why i think summer's right.
why do we have to know our place in this world?
so that we know where we stand and then limit ourselves because we think that all we can be or all we can do is finite?
why can't we just live being ourselves? and ourselves only.

why can't i just be somebody's bestie without being called a bestie?
why can't i be in love with somebody without being called a girlfriend?
why can't i teach somebody without being called a teacher?
why can't i have parents without calling them lao ma and lao ba?
why can't i protect the country without being called a soldier?

all these are just terms to simply the world for babies and toddlers.
and we decided to carry on simplifying the world for ourselves forgetting the bigger picture.

-

so we should sin, if not Jesus would have died for nothing.

i thought this was quite a remarkable qoute.

few days back, i was quite perturbed with something.
i was reading about MM LKY, and some thing just sprang into my head.
if i want to contact MM LKY, can i email him?
and how would i get his email?
did he hire somebody to screen his emails?
if he did, my mail would have deemed unimportant right?

i would just like to have a chat with him. nothing impt actually, i dont really care about the country's economics or whether my forefathers were that hardworking, or if the world needs another obama..
but i would just like to know him as a normal man. minus the MM thingy.
like how exactly are you like? what are your flaws? have you taken the bus or mrt before? have you gone to hawker centres to buy your own wanton mee?
do you need your kids to marry somebody of the same status? do you own a qwerty phone or a normal handphone? my gramps cant do sms. can you?
do you have rhuematism? do you stick those salon pas stickers?

i'm just curious.
-

grr. this is like my 3rd time signing up for habitat for humanity operation homeworks. they better give me my slots!!

grrz.

i have a sudden like to put 'zzz's and 'xxxx's for my texts these days.
jia lat.

my oppressed ah lian is coming up.

will you?

just curious.

and what i don't understand
makes me even more curious.

hmm.

-

i think the thomson mp or whatever has to do something about the drainage system there.

it's so bad yesterday. the heavy downpour probably produce enough rain to improve the agriculture sector growth in africa for the four quarters. i swore i saw a car which went past me with its wheels half submerged. CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE OKAY. and i was troughing through ankle-deep pools of water.

and i was so scared!

like what if my birkies get washed away? (i would throw away my umbrella and run for my slippers. )

like what if some animal or croco come swimming towards me?( i would still throw away my umbrella and waddle away AS FAST AS I CAN.)

like what if i slip and fall? (if i cant get up i'll roll to apple strudel to find tosh.)

grr.

AND IT WAS SO DARK! and my birkies are so slippery.

and i was worried that my books in the bag are gonna get wet.

though i was assuring myself that army bags are durable and to some extend.. quite waterproof....

my jeans were soaked. my tiong bahru umbrella is quite useless against nature elements.

anwayzzz.

the moral of the story is,

keep ziplocks in the bag.

so come rain come shine, come what may.

AND I CANT WAIT FOR IVINS AND DURIANS!

^^

omfg.

singapore idol is just-

they should just trash it. bin it. exterminate it. axe it.

seriously.

omfg.

even their trailers are omfg.

it's down right omfg.

talent in the lowest level = imitation, no creativity, no x-factor

fook it.

it's been quite a loooong and exceptionally boring week. nothing really interesting happened.
no points of contention. no fooking issues for me to draft imaginary forum letters, the usual fook-those-farmers-on-public-tpt, cant really sleep because i worry about my kids' exams (difference between this/these/that/those, i must have repeated like 10 times in a single lesson..), a million worries about a million things that i cant control-
coupled these with pms and my parents just flew to hk and i have to take care of my whiny 13 year old bro, godd.
weekends please. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee.

:(

anyways, im extremely determined to catch 'eating air'. i even made a reservation with nlb.
and the fookiest thing is, i dont get a reply from them to tell me the state of my application for reservation. and i'm gonna pay 1.55 doru just to reserve a decade old Vcd.. i might as well upgrade to premium membership for nlb since im such a frequent user. and i'm gonna read poor the library. and i'm getting so pissed that i cant borrow norwegian wood. i've decided to BUY IT. and i realised my parents really trust me. they left the car keys around the house with the car parked DIRECTLY below my house. they are preeeety sure i wont drive the car around. haha. i shall not create a riot when they are back, hehe.though it looks really tempting.maybe i should just drive it to buy stuff from sheng siong and then come home. whats the worse could happened? ha. anyways, i hope the shengsiongsntucsshopandsaves should stop conquering every single land area that is available for them. omg. its like almost every place i go in singapore, it just looks the same. i dont think the blind miss out much here in singapore anyway. and i think we are pretty much deaf since all we hear are diggers drillings, car honkings and people screaming to be heard.

okay, crooked stream of consciousness. nevermind.
i wanna watch my TAKUYA KIMURA show.

eating air,
ng yi-sheng

such similarity.
scary.

buddy with kid :]

i need sleep.
even though i sleep a good 6 hours each day,
i still feel like i haven't slept a wink.

maybe i'm growing.
-

received :]

bunny chiam's post birthday celebration-

tong bought those disco bunny ears!

no choice, but to wear it at the bus stop.

:D

yeah!

brazillian buffet at katong.

meaty.

down to old hk cafe.

birthday cake.

:]]

i have a penchant for listening attentively to people when they have grammatical errors in their conversation.

so more often than not,
i'm just skimming the conversations that i have with people so that
i can rmb the stuff that are told to me.
not that i'm zoned out okay.

anywayzzz,
i don't correct people cause i think that dreadful job is not for me to do.
but even if i do, it must be of the most serious-i-can't-take-it offence, like,
'I HAS.'

seriously, just imagine hearing "I HAS." for like 5 times.

omg.

and broken english in frustrating situations?

i'll just have to break my english too.

some photos from perth-

well, i think i'm getting to like travelling alone :]